Correcting The Mistakes Of The Past With The Errors Of Today

Looking back at what I wrote here the other day, it seems that I failed in my attempt to write a post about not succeeding. I wrote, "One of my favorite ways of keeping myself from being successful is to reward myself for my success in advance with whatever it is that I need to avoid in order to succeed," and then went on to tell a simple (yet crummy) little half-story about procrastination. While I have nothing against procrastination, and would even be willing to die reading a magazine while sitting around drinking beer and putting off fighting for its cause, that is not what I was (at least attempting to be) talking about.

What I was at least attempting to be talking about was something like this:

Every once in a while, I feel the need to trim down a little bit and get back to my fighting weight. It doesn't matter if I am wanting to squeeze back into an old pair of pants, looking for a good reason to shave my stomach, or just trying to get the hookers to quit pinching my belly; I have only one method to losing weight, and that is to stop drinking beer.

This goes swimmingly for the first week. I am not drinking, my pants are close to fitting, my stomach is almost ripe for a shaving, and the pinch marks are starting to fade. I am feeling more energetic, thinner, and better on the whole than not just my former self, but every ugly, fat son of a bitch that has the gall to waddle his colossal ass past me.

And since I am doing so well with my non-beer drinking diet (and can envision myself staying on it for the next several months, or at least until I get in a little bit of stomach modeling), I decide that I deserve a little something for my world beating efforts. That little something turns out to be a potentially dangerous amount of beer. Soon enough I'm back to the elastic waist band, my belly's somehow hairier, and I'm threatening to go home and get my gun if these whores won't fucking stop pinching me.

That's pretty much my favorite way to stay clear of succeeding. When all is said and done, however, and I'm sure I'll make this perfectly clear as this blog progresses, the best way to avoid success is to just do a really shitty job.

PS: I'm not planning on commonly pointing out why my other posts are so bad, but this last one has gotten such a tremendous amount of feedback, that I felt the need to address it.